So it has been sometime since my last post. I wish I could say that it was due to me being better, and maybe in a way I am, but it’s not. Written has always been a way to express my emotions. To allow them to be felt and expressed. But for the last few months I have been unwilling to let my emotions in. The last month and a half saw the 1 year anniversary of my brothers passing from suicide. The first Christmas and new year with out my pop. And the realisation that my life is absolute shit. I am a broken man. I have all these demons inside and the only way I have found to deal with them is to keep them locked up. But to do this I have stopped caring about anything. And while I haven’t fallen back into the deeper levels of my depression I feel that I am still trending water in that dark abyss. By not thinking about things I do not worry about them. At least till I think about what that causes. It’s the only way I have found to survive.